It started out as a wellness blog. Then I woke up and realized that it's easier to commit to things that are real. People that are real. Real people. And I guess I wasn't real with myself. I'm not ready to lose the weight. I want to lose the weight. I want to be in better health but truth of the matter is, now is not the time...
So, instead of deleting the page and have my thoughts flying around in cyber space, I figured I'd try something that was real to me. I would try to write. Write my talent back into existence. I thought that my passion was gone, but my heart is in book. As long as books and word have the power to move me, my passion will continue to thrive. I thought that I would be able to write because I reconnected with my muse but muses are temporary fixes. I thought I would be able to write if I had all the right words, but maybe I don't. Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't know what to write. Maybe I don't have an audience to write to. Maybe I don't have the right words. Maybe I do.
But what if....
What if I can do it alone? What if pouring my words into a machine is what my soul really needs? ... What if it's what the world needs? What if it's what I've been afraid of? But what if? What if? What if its what I need?
My fingers shake. My mind races. My heart is pounding through my chest. I'm excited. I think I'm a few strokes away from a panic attack and yet I've never felt more alive and terrified than I do write now. Write now...Write now...I must write now
Lovely Kinks Out
